Enter CHIMPANZEES, INTERPRETER and CHARLES DARWIN
Doctor DoLittle: Welcome to the Talk Show “Evolution on Television”! This week, we have with us a very special guest, a creature to be precise. Let’s welcome Tim-Tim, our guest-of-honour!
Tim-Tim: Ooo Ooo Ooo
Doctor DoLittle: Allow me to explain. Tim-Tim is no conventional guest as you can probably hear, he’s a chimpanzee, and a pretty dissenting one at that. Two weeks ago, I found him kowtowing his hairy head swollen against a little pebble so hard that I thought he would have died. So I used my animal talk, and asked him about his problem. Tim-Tim, what was your problem?
Tim-Tim: Ooo Ooo Ooo
Doctor DoLittle: Hmm, he’s ashamed and disillusioned that life’s unfair, that chimpanzees are biologically inferior to humans, and he demanded an explanation from the pebble. So being the understanding human I am, I invited him to talk to our equally special guest today. Say ‘Hi’, Mr Darwin.
Darwin: Thanks, DoLittle. Hi, I’m Darwin, Charles Darwin.
DoLittle: Yes, we know that. Obviously our little buddy here got a little issue with his body. He believes that the pebble created all life forms unequally, so that humans got to be biologically superior and…
Chimpanzee: Ooo Ahh Ahh
DoLittle: Oh ya, and keep them in zoos. So what have you got to say, Mr Darwin.
Darwin: Yes, this chimpanzee is seriously disillusioned. According to my great Theory of Evolution, in biology, evolution is the change in the genetic material of a population of organisms from one generation to the next. Though the changes produced in any one generation are small, differences accumulate with each generation and can, over time, cause substantial changes in the organisms. This process can culminate in the emergence of new species. Indeed, the similarities between organisms suggest that all known species are descended from a common ancestor (or ancestral gene pool) through this process of gradual divergence. To summarize: my theory of evolution…
Chimp: Ahh Ahh Ahh
Darwin: Is that a yawn? No, he wants a banana.
Dolittle: Erm, have you got a banana? He’s hungry.
Darwin: Obviously, this chimpanzee’s brain hasn’t evolved much.
Chimp: Ooo Ooo Ooo
DoLittle: Now he wants a rambutan.
Darwin: Quite clearly, his stomach has overtaken his brain by leaps and bounds along the path of evolution. Please discipline your chimpanzee. As I was saying, my theory of evolution can be summarized as follows:
1. Variation: There is Variation in Every Population.
DoLittle: Just like there are chimpanzees, gorillas and Wah Jiangs.
2. Competition: Organisms Compete for limited resources.
DoLittle: Just like how Shien Yang runs to the canteen.
3. Offspring: Organisms produce more Offspring than can survive.
DoLittle: Just like how billionaire and philanthropist Wah Jiang has 5 daughters but only 1 survive.
4. Genetics: Organisms pass Genetic traits on to their offspring.
DoLittle: Just like how Wah Jiang’s daughters look like Wah Jiang –with long hair.
5. Natural Selection: Those organisms with the Most Beneficial Traits are more likely to Survive and Reproduce.
DoLittle: Just like why we still see Wah Jiangs around.
Chimp: Argh Ooo Ooo
DoLittle: Thank you! We’ve now come to the end of our talk … argh… get your hands off it, that’s not a banana, ahhh…!
Chimp: Ooo Ooo Ahh Ahh!
.
Doctor Dolittle: Welcome to the Second Episode of “Evolution on Television”! This week, we have with us once again Charles Darwin like duh…. What is the theory of evolution without Charles Darwin? But of course not everyone agrees with the theory of evolution, today we also have another guest with us. Pope Jiang.
Pope: Merry Christmas!
Darwin: I am sorry, what is Christmas?
Doctor Dolittle: Okay, looks like our guests are at loggerheads already. Anyway, today we will discuss about the validity of the theory of evolution. Will the pope like to begin?
Pope: Yes, certainly. Firstly, there is no such thing as evolution. To answer your question just now, Christmas marks the birth of Christ, the son of god and god is the creator of everything.
Darwin: This is absurd! How can everything just appear out of nowhere? According to my great theory of evolution, evolution is the reason why you and I exist today. Evolution is the change in the genetic material of a population of organisms from one generation to the next. Though the changes produced in any one generation are small, differences accumulate with each generation and can, over time, cause substantial changes in the organisms. This process can culminate in the emergence of new species, such as humans. If not my dear Pope, you will still be a monkey today.
Pope: Are you suggesting that you came from a banana, since human DNA is 50% identical that to a fruit?
Darwin: Tell me you don’t have a banana huh.
Pope: It seems that some scientists simply can’t explain some sporadic mutations in DNA which do not coincide with the evolution theory.
Darwin: It seems to me that you can’t explain the tail bone you have on your butt is the remains of a tail.
Pope: Incorrect. With reference to http://GOSAI.COM / science/ Darwin-debunked/ Darwin you suck *TOOT* Html, the tail bone has a specific use in the human body.
Darwin: I bet the last phrase in that html is total *TOOT* *TOOT*
Doctor Dolittle: Please mind your language
Pope: Let me finish you *TOOT*.
Darwin: Ya you *TOOT*.
Pope: The so-called "tailbone" is the early formation of the coccyx and spinal column which, because of the rate of growth being faster than the rest of the body during this stage, appears to look like a tail. The coccyx has already been proven to be useful in providing support for the pelvic muscles. You see, god created us perfect.
Darwin: What gibberish. Scientists have yet to prove any existence of a supreme being. The only figure that comes to mind when you mention “Let There Be Light” is Cyclops from X-men.It is instantly obvious to anyone who has half a brain that the tailbone is a remnant of our evolution from apes. We’re 99.7% genetically identical to chimpanzees. That’s evidence for you. As for bananas, I bet they’re 100% identical only to yours.
Pope: How Dare You! This is preposterous! The genetic similarity might simply be a coincidence in God’s creation.By that, I mean Chimpanzees, not bananas. And who’s Cyclops anyway?I bet I can crush him easily with my thumb!
Plays Cyclop’s sound (short).
Pope: Huh? What’s that? Who are you?
Dr Dolittle: It seems that an unexpected visitor has arrived in our studio.
Cyclops: (In a very deep voice) I’m someone the pope can crush with a thumb. Just that he won’t have a thumb anymore.
Play’s Cyclop’s sound (long).
Podcast Episode 1
http://charlesdarwin.posterous.com/
Enter CHIMPANZEES, INTERPRETER and CHARLES DARWIN
Doctor DoLittle: Welcome to the Talk Show “Evolution on Television”! This week, we have with us a very special guest, a creature to be precise. Let’s welcome Tim-Tim, our guest-of-honour!
Tim-Tim: Ooo Ooo Ooo
Doctor DoLittle: Allow me to explain. Tim-Tim is no conventional guest as you can probably hear, he’s a chimpanzee, and a pretty dissenting one at that. Two weeks ago, I found him kowtowing his hairy head swollen against a little pebble so hard that I thought he would have died. So I used my animal talk, and asked him about his problem. Tim-Tim, what was your problem?
Tim-Tim: Ooo Ooo Ooo
Doctor DoLittle: Hmm, he’s ashamed and disillusioned that life’s unfair, that chimpanzees are biologically inferior to humans, and he demanded an explanation from the pebble. So being the understanding human I am, I invited him to talk to our equally special guest today. Say ‘Hi’, Mr Darwin.
Darwin: Thanks, DoLittle. Hi, I’m Darwin, Charles Darwin.
DoLittle: Yes, we know that. Obviously our little buddy here got a little issue with his body. He believes that the pebble created all life forms unequally, so that humans got to be biologically superior and…
Chimpanzee: Ooo Ahh Ahh
DoLittle: Oh ya, and keep them in zoos. So what have you got to say, Mr Darwin.
Darwin: Yes, this chimpanzee is seriously disillusioned. According to my great Theory of Evolution, in biology, evolution is the change in the genetic material of a population of organisms from one generation to the next. Though the changes produced in any one generation are small, differences accumulate with each generation and can, over time, cause substantial changes in the organisms. This process can culminate in the emergence of new species. Indeed, the similarities between organisms suggest that all known species are descended from a common ancestor (or ancestral gene pool) through this process of gradual divergence. To summarize: my theory of evolution…
Chimp: Ahh Ahh Ahh
Darwin: Is that a yawn? No, he wants a banana.
Dolittle: Erm, have you got a banana? He’s hungry.
Darwin: Obviously, this chimpanzee’s brain hasn’t evolved much.
Chimp: Ooo Ooo Ooo
DoLittle: Now he wants a rambutan.
Darwin: Quite clearly, his stomach has overtaken his brain by leaps and bounds along the path of evolution. Please discipline your chimpanzee. As I was saying, my theory of evolution can be summarized as follows:
1. Variation: There is Variation in Every Population.
DoLittle: Just like there are chimpanzees, gorillas and Wah Jiangs.
2. Competition: Organisms Compete for limited resources.
DoLittle: Just like how Shien Yang runs to the canteen.
3. Offspring: Organisms produce more Offspring than can survive.
DoLittle: Just like how billionaire and philanthropist Wah Jiang has 5 daughters but only 1 survive.
4. Genetics: Organisms pass Genetic traits on to their offspring.
DoLittle: Just like how Wah Jiang’s daughters look like Wah Jiang –with long hair.
5. Natural Selection: Those organisms with the Most Beneficial Traits are more likely to Survive and Reproduce.
DoLittle: Just like why we still see Wah Jiangs around.
Chimp: Argh Ooo Ooo
DoLittle: Thank you! We’ve now come to the end of our talk … argh… get your hands off it, that’s not a banana, ahhh…!
Chimp: Ooo Ooo Ahh Ahh!
.
Podcast Episode 2
http://charlesdarwin.posterous.com/
Doctor Dolittle: Welcome to the Second Episode of “Evolution on Television”! This week, we have with us once again Charles Darwin like duh…. What is the theory of evolution without Charles Darwin? But of course not everyone agrees with the theory of evolution, today we also have another guest with us. Pope Jiang.
Pope: Merry Christmas!
Darwin: I am sorry, what is Christmas?
Doctor Dolittle: Okay, looks like our guests are at loggerheads already. Anyway, today we will discuss about the validity of the theory of evolution. Will the pope like to begin?
Pope: Yes, certainly. Firstly, there is no such thing as evolution. To answer your question just now, Christmas marks the birth of Christ, the son of god and god is the creator of everything.
Darwin: This is absurd! How can everything just appear out of nowhere? According to my great theory of evolution, evolution is the reason why you and I exist today. Evolution is the change in the genetic material of a population of organisms from one generation to the next. Though the changes produced in any one generation are small, differences accumulate with each generation and can, over time, cause substantial changes in the organisms. This process can culminate in the emergence of new species, such as humans. If not my dear Pope, you will still be a monkey today.
Pope: Are you suggesting that you came from a banana, since human DNA is 50% identical that to a fruit?
Darwin: Tell me you don’t have a banana huh.
Pope: It seems that some scientists simply can’t explain some sporadic mutations in DNA which do not coincide with the evolution theory.
Darwin: It seems to me that you can’t explain the tail bone you have on your butt is the remains of a tail.
Pope: Incorrect. With reference to http://GOSAI.COM / science/ Darwin-debunked/ Darwin you suck *TOOT* Html, the tail bone has a specific use in the human body.
Darwin: I bet the last phrase in that html is total *TOOT* *TOOT*
Doctor Dolittle: Please mind your language
Pope: Let me finish you *TOOT*.
Darwin: Ya you *TOOT*.
Pope: The so-called "tailbone" is the early formation of the coccyx and spinal column which, because of the rate of growth being faster than the rest of the body during this stage, appears to look like a tail. The coccyx has already been proven to be useful in providing support for the pelvic muscles. You see, god created us perfect.
Darwin: What gibberish. Scientists have yet to prove any existence of a supreme being. The only figure that comes to mind when you mention “Let There Be Light” is Cyclops from X-men. It is instantly obvious to anyone who has half a brain that the tailbone is a remnant of our evolution from apes. We’re 99.7% genetically identical to chimpanzees. That’s evidence for you. As for bananas, I bet they’re 100% identical only to yours.
Pope: How Dare You! This is preposterous! The genetic similarity might simply be a coincidence in God’s creation. By that, I mean Chimpanzees, not bananas. And who’s Cyclops anyway? I bet I can crush him easily with my thumb!
Plays Cyclop’s sound (short).
Pope: Huh? What’s that? Who are you?
Dr Dolittle: It seems that an unexpected visitor has arrived in our studio.
Cyclops: (In a very deep voice) I’m someone the pope can crush with a thumb. Just that he won’t have a thumb anymore.
Play’s Cyclop’s sound (long).